August 2017

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Monday, August 7th, 2017 08:26 am
I would say having a bird is like a very very very very minor version of having a small child except that it's more like having a tiny version of myself, age 32, viz:


8 am:

me: Good morning little sunshine! How are you? Wakey wakey!
Bird, glowering: enhhhhhh
Bird, half an hour later: enhhhhhhh
Bird, forty-five minutes later, still hiding under covered portion of cage: ENHHHHHH
Bird, minute 53: ::glumly meanders over to the seed tray::
Bird, minute 60: okay. okay. okay. Chirp.


Bird, hours 2 - 18: CHIRP. Chirp? Chirp! CHIRP.
Bird: WHAT IS THAT
Me: that's your swing, bird, it's been here forever.
Bird: IT IS MY ENEMY.
Bird: it is my friend?
Bird: I think I'm going to flirt with it.
Bird: I think I'm going to KICK IT. HWAH! HWAH!
Bird: IT ATTACKED ME RUN RUN RUN RUN
Bird: ... ... ... what is THAT?

Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird, four hours later: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! THE BELL, IT GOES DING.

Me: ::trying to have a conversation with anyone else on earth::
Bird: I hear that we're making noises here!
Bird: I'm great at making noises! I will help you!
Bird: I am the best at sounds! Sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds sounds.
Me: ...
Bird: SOUNDS!

9:30 pm
Me: Bird, the internet says you need ten to twelve hours of sleep. Here's your towel. Beddy bye, bird.
Bird: aaaare you out there
Bird: caaaaan you hear me
Bird: I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE
Bird: I'm running around and kicking things! The bell goes ding! The bell never sleeps and NEITHER DO I!

10:30 pm:
Bird: ::DING DING DING::

11 pm:
Bird: ::DIIIIIIIING::

Midnight:
Me: ::ventures out for a glass of water::
Bird: ::DING::

3 am:
Bird: I SAW A SHADOW AND I'M FREAKING OUT! DING! FLAP FLAP FLAP YELL DING!
Me: THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE A NIGHTLIGHT
Bird: Oh good everyone's up now. Ding! Cheep cheep cheep ding!

8 am:
Me: Wakey wakey!
Bird: enhhhhhh

---
*The internet says you can get your bird a less-exciting sleep cage. The vet said don't do this, just tell the bird it's bedtime with good sleep hygiene. The bird does not listen to sleep hygiene. But then, I don't either.
Tags:
Monday, August 7th, 2017 01:32 pm (UTC)
Is your parakeet related to Allie Brosh's dogs? *g*
Monday, August 7th, 2017 07:22 pm (UTC)
He understands that I'm a person, I think!

The research on bird intelligence is fascinating. I don't know how parakeets are thought to rank relative to the bigger parrots, but it's always interesting when you can watch a non-human mind at work.
Monday, August 7th, 2017 02:14 pm (UTC)
Also, permission to [community profile] metaquotes?
Monday, August 7th, 2017 02:34 pm (UTC)
... so I ended up quoting the whole thing:

https://metaquotes.dreamwidth.org/80206.html
Monday, August 7th, 2017 02:41 pm (UTC)
OMG, you and your bird both ignoring sleep hygiene is bloody priceless.
Monday, August 7th, 2017 06:35 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious.

(Also HI HI I return to DW HI HOW ARE YOU)