edition II of "passive aggressive letters to people who don't read my livejournal"

[sapote]

Dear People Who Live Up the Hill With the Loud Taste in Reggae and the "Party Naked" Bumper Stickers:

I appreciate your verve for life. I really do. Would I have the strength of mind and spirit to scream "Woo!" off my porch continuously from the hours of 1 till 2 and then again at eight in the morning on a Sunday?

Considering that the last round of WOO at 2 a.m. was accompanied by audible retching, no, I do not think I would.

And I think it's darling that you want to share this enthusiasm with us. It really classes the place up! The whole valley now feels kind of urban and edgy, as if we were living in a town that had a frat nightclub, instead of just a frat sandwich-shop-that-serves-beer.

I can only imagine the little old ladies and families with small children that live near us are lining up to oppose the zoning amendments that would expel us from neighborhoods like these and isolate your genius in the ways of public heckeling in the dank tenements of downtown. That would be tragic, they are saying right now. No 8 a.m. Sunday morning Woo? It would be like summer without birdsong!

Thank you for struggling for us all.

hugs and kisses,

sapote.