Friday, October 10th, 2025 06:13 pm
Isaac Fellman's Notes from a Regicide surprised me in several ways, some good, some bad, and some just very funny.

For a start, for a book titled Notes from a Regicide, it is really pretty minimally about regicide. I would have liked a bit more regicide. On the other hand, it is maximally about living on after dramatic events, about Having Done something world-shaking and then becoming just another person moving the various broken-and-put-back-together pieces of yourself through a life like anybody else's, and that I liked very much.

It is also, I cannot help but think, about what happens when an author sits down and thinks 'I want to write trans Grantaire but am I more interested in transmasc Grantaire or transfem Grantaire ... well! actually!! Who needs an Enjolras, why NOT trans het Grantaire x Grantaire!' I can't in any way prove this but once I started thinking it I couldn't un-think it and it did absolutely bring a particular lens to my reading of the book that heightened both my appreciation and my irritation ...

Okay, so the plot. In the novel's present day, Griffon, an NYC journalist, is arranging the papers of his deceased adoptive parents, Etoine and Zaffre. Etoine and Zaffre are immigrants from a Ruritanian principality named Stephensport; in their younger days, they were instrumental in bringing about revolutionary change to Stephensport, subsequent to which they fled to NYC and lived out the rest of their lives as mildly notable elderly emigré artists. The novel moves back and forth between Etoine's narrative of his life in Stephensport -- as written during a time in prison post-regicide when he thought Zaffre was dead -- and Griffon's notes on his own life with these people, how he came to be a part of their lives as a trans teen from an abusive home, his various attempts and failures to understand them and vice versa.

The other reason I think Les Mis is integral to this novel, by the way, is the fact that Zaffre is compared on like the second or third page to Jean Valjean because of her strong back and shoulders, the first reference the book ever makes, and I do think that if you're turning around thoughts about revolution and post-revolution and traumatized children rescued by traumatized people you might get end up with something like the shape of this book. The Griffon chapters are about how Griffon loves his parents and is fascinated by them and is also really often deeply annoyed by them, the way they often don't recognize his various attempts to gain their approval, the way they have their own private history that they will not share, the way their house is always messy, the way they behave really embarrassingly in art museums. And sometimes he lashes out at them, and sometimes they lash out at him, and sometimes they do provide exactly what's needed and sometimes it's exactly the opposite. I enjoyed seeing this domestic-but-not-at-all-cozy narrative juxtaposed with the fantastical revolution story; I've never seen it done quite this way before, and it's not what I expected, and I liked it quite a bit.

The revolution story itself -- well, this is the part, I think, that perhaps needs a bit more regicide. All the backstory is from Etoine's point of view, and Etoine has gotten all the not-caring-about-the-revolution-except-as-it-impacts-his-beloved bits of Grantaire. Zaffre, despite clearly being a fellow Grantaire -- she's severely, schizoaffectively depressed and introduced by Etoine as a fellow art student who's awkwardly obsessed with him before the feelings later become mutual -- is also the Enjolras; she's passionate about the revolution and deeply involved in the logistics of it (and blonde, and majestic, and compared at one point to the Marianne.) But we know very little about why she's passionate about it or what kind of logistical activities she's doing for it because Etoine barely talks about it. Etoine really just wants to talk about his alcoholism and his trans journey and his romance with Zaffre, until circumstances eventually slam him into the regicide situation. Griffon, annotating the text, complains about how little Etoine talks about the revolution, and I think Isaac Fellman thinks that because he's pointed at the lacunae and drawn a circle around it as Intentional he can dust his hands off and feel satisfied with it. I disagree! I think if you are titling your book Notes From a Regicide it is perhaps incumbent upon you to put at least a little bit of politics into it!

Also, speaking of politics ... NYC hasn't got any. This bit is technically spoilers but really just worldbuilding spoilers )

That said, I do like the little bits of worldbuilding we get about Stephensport, though I wish there were more of it -- the disintegrating electors buried in the stone yard who rise every couple of decades to choose a new king is really very good as a bad system of government -- and I like also that Fellman is one of the few contemporary authors I've come across who's both written a speculative society that supports a form of trans identity, and then instead of stopping there written about people in that society who are queer within that context, who want things that their society's particular allowed form of gender expression doesn't support or condone. So: an unusual book, an ambitious book. An interesting book, I think, on gender and identity and transgenerational trauma. Not a particularly interesting book on revolution. But revolution sells, I guess, so Notes from a Regicide it is.
Wednesday, October 8th, 2025 03:53 pm
books
Checkmate (The Lymond Chronicles #6) by Dorothy Dunnett. 1975. cw: war, murder, offscreen sexual assault, subsequent PTSD. The exciting conclusion to the series. No lie, this one was rollicking, despite an overuse of untranslated French.

still reading: The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman. Book one. So charming.

still reading: Shubeik Lubeik by Deena Mohamed. 2023. Graphic novel. Shubeik lubeik translates to "Your wish is my command" in Arabic. This version of Egypt is modern except it has wishes that come true, and are regulated (and black market). Great concept. I'm only 20% through, but it's a good book so far.


yarning
finished a yellow bunny and the above calico Cat Stitch scarf. The scarf sold this morning (without even me listing it first) & another person wants to get a custom one made! Yay! I worked on a grey and black kickbunny at yarn group Sunday and had a nice time. I'm nearly finished with it, though now I have a commission to recreate a cat's favorite turkey leg toy with wool and catnip. And scarf customer reminded me that xmas is coming and it's time to to work on stocking the shop! I ordered more catnip & hopefully won't run out of silvervine yet. All in all, a productive week!

healthcrap
The drooping eyelid is making me crazy -- double vision, blurry vision, the eyelid being in the way of seeing. more healthcrap )

#resist
October 18: No Kings Day 2!

I hope all of y'all are doing well and can see with your regular number of eyes. :g:
Wednesday, October 8th, 2025 12:20 pm
Even with the first storm of the season coming in on Friday, we've had some really lovely weather. I was waiting for the bus on Sunday morning in beautiful sunshine and crisp coolness. It's gone a lot colder, though - since the weekend I am wearing the official First Hoodie of the autumn, and in the last couple of weeks I've gone from sleeping under a sheet to a duvet with a blanket on top, at least to warm up.

We had a fancy dinner out on Thursday with the suppliers for our new system, who have been great colleagues, so it was nice to spend some time with them. It was a Chinese "banquet", with lots of terrifying whole-animal courses (a whole turbot! a giant dismembered lobster! what looked like an entire suckling pig with, like, the ribcage removed, splayed out on a platter with its face on one end and four trotters on the corners!), but they'd spent a couple of weeks negotiating with the restaurant to make sure there was enough I could eat, so I definitely had plenty of options. The highlight for me was some particularly good salt and pepper baked tofu, but I also had egg fried rice, and half-a-dozen vegetable dishes, and crispy noodles, and I forget what else.

But actually the nicest part was that the suppliers called me the project MVP right there in front of everyone! Which is of course extremely flattering. And I did put in a lot of work, including some serious project management effort, so it's nice to have that recognised.

The next day was moderately entertaining, because practically everyone was massively hung-over in the office ("I'm not feeling very clever", said Boss Lady). One colleague had driven, so also didn't drink, and she and I congratulated each other (privately!) about it. I did have a bit of a social hangover ("oh no, did I talk too much?? did I say anything stupid? was I super embarrassing???") but mostly I tried to console myself with the fact that practically everyone else was drunk, so probably they wouldn't have noticed or remembered if I did. Ahhh, the joys of being socially awkward.

Now I could do with a resurgence of those project management skills, because there is still Too Much Going On at work, and I am not doing a very good job of, like, properly engaging with it. But I did at least go through the 52 IT Service Desk emails in my inbox and reduce them down somewhat; the "under 100 email" inbox is within my grasp, possibly.
Friday, October 3rd, 2025 01:07 pm
This hood buttoned under the collar and stopped a few inches back from the center front - it is not supposed to close. It has a dart at the back of the crown and a topstitched front facing for structure. The original was unlined and buttoned under the collar.

Pieces:
- Hood - Seams are topstitched open and trimmed close to the topstitching.
- Button edge reinforcement - not needed if you are sewing it in. Topstitched just inside both edges. The front edge did not have seam allowance and was cut about 1/4" / 5mm shy of the finished front edge of the hood. This raw edge was covered by the facing. The long edge was left raw and secured with topstitching.
- Front facing - this was interfaced and topstitched. The center top is cut shorter than the hood itself to allow for turn of cloth. Three rows of topstitching about 0.5in / 1cm apart around the whole front edge. The long edge was left raw and secured with topstitching.
- Kidney - this was way too small for me and I did not reproduce it when I used this pattern on a new coat. Buttons onto the side and can be swung down and buttoned across the throat in bad weather.

Order of operations:
1. Sew up the dart, press open, topstitch, trim seam allowance.
2. Join halves of the hood together along the center back/top seam. Press open and topstitch.
3. Button reinforcement, if using: join halves at center back. Sew to bottom edge of hood and turn in, press for a crisp edge. Topstitch along both edges of the reinforcement. Sew button holes through both layers as marked.
4. Front facing: interface both pieces. Join halves at center top. Stitch to front of hood and turn in, press for a crisp edge. Evenly space 3 rows of topstitching around the front edge, about 1/2” / 1cm apart.
5. Hood!
6.1 Option: buttoned in - sew buttons to the neck of the coat, under the collar, matching button hole placement. For thick wool, use shanked buttons or create a thread shank.
6.2 Option: sewn in - Sew into neck, with or without collar as desired.

Images )
Wednesday, October 1st, 2025 03:58 pm
books (Dunnett, Aaronovitch et al, Mohamed) )


VAMPIRE SALE!
I've put all my Interview With The Vampire Art Dolls on sale for 20% off for the entire month of October! (I have a post on Tumblr that it would be great if you could reblog! Thanks!)

yarning
I've been crocheting a lot, making and selling more kickbunnies. (Enough that I may even get my Etsy star seller badge back!) I went to yarn group Sunday and had a nice time. I just finished a purple bunny & an under the door toy. Next is a yellow bunny, though I'm running out of boxes and am waiting on Prime Day to order more, oops. OH! AND! Niece LOVED her globe & moon! I'm so relieved. I still don't know what to make her for xmas, but I'm going to do a reversible octopus for her 2yo brother with a happy face on one side and a frowny face on the other. He's learning the basics of FEELINGS & this may help? I hope so. Might do a reversible rose doll for Niece (one side is a doll from waist up with a big skirt. Flip the skirt over her head and it's a rose. Though I wonder if she already has one. Hrm.

healthcrap
I had botox for migraines Friday & the skin clinic Monday. Boo: I've got a badly drooping right eyelid from the botox this time & it's so bad I'm having trouble focusing. Yay: Topical horse dewormer is incredibly effective for rosacea, I'm glad to say. I thought I'd never get rid of the spots on my face, but this works. (Note, it does NOT work for Covid.) Speaking of, I got my Covid & flu jabs today. Fasting labs tmrw, gah, but they have to be done. cut for discussion of weight loss )

#resist
October 18: No Kings Day 2

I hope all of y'all are doing well! <333
Wednesday, October 1st, 2025 05:04 pm
It's October at last! Sadly my calendar is not actually much better, although I am at least only having to go into the office a normal amount at the moment. We also held the annual new altar server training at church and I have either done or fobbed off onto an appropriate person all the follow-up tasks, except for a one-off training for someone who couldn't make the session and getting my DBS paperwork filled out again. Apparently they expire every three years but no one actually tells you when it happens so it's just, like, up to you to know this and remember to do something about it?? But now I know, and have forms to collect at the weekend.

Apparently I also have to provide three forms of ID, which sounds pretty intense, especially since a) I've been DBSed before (admittedly in 2018) and b) I've been serving here for over thirty years, but hopefully I do actually have enough documents for the purpose. It's easier now that I'm the one paying the bills and council tax on my residence (living with my parents, I really didn't have much!), but most of that's email these days, not paper, so it starts getting complicated again.

Yesterday was a dead loss, and today wasn't much better, but I did eventually get the initial monthly reports out to all the teams, which is something even if a good day would normally see them sent out before noon rather than after my official finishing time for the day. And yesterday I went out after work for my eye screening, except the bus didn't show up (or was at least 4 minutes early) and the next one was twenty minutes later and meant I'd be at least fifteen minutes late, so I had to cancel the appointment and rebook for later in the month (in a week when I was already out four week-nights, to make a full set of five!!). Tonight is choir, which I'm hoping will be less of a wash out; my lift made it back home in time to collect me, after saying this morning that I'd have to take the train, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

I'm feeling very burned out at the moment, but also I can't take any annual leave this month because there's urgent testing for the next three weeks, so I'm back to turning down everything I can and trying to go to bed on time instead of revenge procrastinating to make myself feel like I'm in control of something...
Sunday, September 28th, 2025 08:25 am
VOYAGER CATCH UP. I said I wanted to post about the first half of S6 before we were actually done with s6 and have not .... quite achieved that, technically, but TODAY we start the seventh and final season so I feel like if I post today it more or less counts, spiritually, emotionally, etc.

Voyager Season 6, episodes 1-13 )

Overall early S6 not a high point in our Voyager experience, with some exceptions; it feels like we're on a little bit of a downward arc after the highs of S4/S5, but we will see what the future holds!
Saturday, September 27th, 2025 12:37 pm
Q: So, did you expect to like Lev Grossman's The Bright Sword?

A: No. If I'm being honest, I did not pick up this book in a generous spirit: I haven't read any Grossman previously (though I watched some of The Magicians TV show) but my vague impression was that his Magicians books were kind of edgelordy, and also he annoyed me on a panel I saw him on ten years ago.

Q: Given all this, why did you decide to pick up his new seven hundred page novel?

A: I saw some promotional material that called it 'the first major Arthurian epic of the new millennium' and I wanted to fight with it.

Q: And now you've finished it! Are you ready to fight?

A: ... well ... as it turned out I actually had a good time ........

Q: Ah. I see. Did it have a good Kay?

A: NO. Kay does show up for a hot second and I did get excited about it but it's not for very long and he's always being an asshole in flashbacks. It has a really good Palomides though -- possibly the best Palomides I've yet encountered, which is honestly not a high bar but still very exciting. Also, genuinely, a good Arthur!

Q: Gay at all?

A: No, very straight Arthur. Bedivere's pining for him but it's very unrequired, alas for Bedivere. There is also a trans knight and you can tell that Lev Grossman is very proud of himself for every element of that storyline, which I thought was fine.

Q: What about the women, did you like them? Guinevere? Nimue? Morgan?

A: Well, I think Lev Grossman is trying his very best, and he really wants you to know that he's On Their Side and Understands Their Problems and Respects Their Competence and, well, I think Lev Grossman is trying his very best.

Q: Lancelot?

A: I have arguments with the Lancelot. Can we stop going down a character list though and talk about --

Q: God?

A: Okay, NOW we're talking. I don't know that I agree with Lev Grossman about God. Often I think I don't. Often while reading the book, I was like, Mr. Grossman, I think you're giving me kind of a trite answer to an interesting question. I don't actually think we need to settle this with a bunch of angels and a bunch of fairy knights having a big stupid fight around the Lance of Longinus. BUT! you're asking the question! You understand that if we're talking about Arthurian myths we have to talk about God! And we have to talk about fairy, and Adventures, and the Grail, and the legacy of Rome, and we have to talk about the way that the stories partake of these kind of layered and contradictory levels of myth and belief and historicity, and we don't have to try to bring all these into concordance with each other -- instead we can pull out the ways that they contradict, that it's interesting to highlight the contradictions. You can have post-Roman Britain, and you can have plate armor and samite dresses and the hunting of the white stag, and the old gods, and the Grail Quest -- you don't have to talk to just one strain of Arthuriana, you can talk to all of them.

Q: Really? All of them?

A: Okay, maybe not all of them, but a lot of them. I think that's why I liked it -- I think he really is trying to position himself in the middle of a big conversation with Malory and Tennyson and White and Bradley and the whole recent line of Strictly Historical Arthurs, and pull them into dialogue with each other. And, to be clear, I think, often failing! Often coming to conclusions I don't agree with! Often his answer is just like 'daddy issues' or 'depression,' and I'm like 'sure, okay.' But it's still an interesting conversation, it's a conversation about the things I think are interesting in the Matter of Britain -- how and why we struggle for goodness and utopia, how and why we inevitably fail, and a new question that I like to see and which Arthurian books don't often pick up on, which is what we do after the fall occurs.

Q: Speaking of the matter of Britain, isn't Lev Grossman very American?

A: Extremely. And this is a very American Arthuriana. It wants to know what happens when the age of wonders is ending -- when life has been good for a while, within a charmed circle, and now things are falling apart; but the charmed circle itself was built on layers of colonial occupation and a foundational atrocity, and maybe that did poison it from the beginning. So, you know. But I don't think any of this is irrelevant to the UK either --

Q: Well, you also are very American and maybe not best qualified to talk about that, so let's get back to characters. What did you think of Collum?

A: Oh, the well-meaning rural young man with a mysterious backstory who wants to be a knight and unfortunately rolls up five minutes after the fall of the Round Table, just in time to accompany the few remaining knights on a doomed quest to figure out whether Arthur is still alive somewhere or if not who should be king after him, in the actual main plot of the book?

Q: Yeah, him. You know, the book's actual protagonist.

A: Eh, I thought he was fine.