Hm, well, I wouldn't necessarily say it that way myself (though her experience sounds rougher than mine -) but you know, the other fandoms I'm in are for obscure little shows that you have to go out of your way to watch, where Who, though it's a fringe show in the States, is apparently a major part of the childhoods of the entire British Commonwealth. So it makes sense that Who fandom is too big to have an accessible group dynamic: they kind of need to break into subgroups, and turn people away, and also, it is true that the bigger the group, the more representatives of that 95th percentile and up of batshit crazy.

I think the only sane way of being a fan of something Who-sized is to have a small, sane group of people to talk about it with, and oh look, I have a friendslist already! So I will keep talking about Who here, I guess, I'll just try to do it in the least wank-attracting way possible. (And I have a WiP going that I really kind of love, which is in a rare pairing, thank jesus)