(no subject)

[sapote]

I would say having a bird is like a very very very very minor version of having a small child except that it's more like having a tiny version of myself, age 32, viz:


8 am:

me: Good morning little sunshine! How are you? Wakey wakey!
Bird, glowering: enhhhhhh
Bird, half an hour later: enhhhhhhh
Bird, forty-five minutes later, still hiding under covered portion of cage: ENHHHHHH
Bird, minute 53: ::glumly meanders over to the seed tray::
Bird, minute 60: okay. okay. okay. Chirp.


Bird, hours 2 - 18: CHIRP. Chirp? Chirp! CHIRP.
Bird: WHAT IS THAT
Me: that's your swing, bird, it's been here forever.
Bird: IT IS MY ENEMY.
Bird: it is my friend?
Bird: I think I'm going to flirt with it.
Bird: I think I'm going to KICK IT. HWAH! HWAH!
Bird: IT ATTACKED ME RUN RUN RUN RUN
Bird: ... ... ... what is THAT?

Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird: the bell goes ding!
Bird, four hours later: Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! THE BELL, IT GOES DING.

Me: ::trying to have a conversation with anyone else on earth::
Bird: I hear that we're making noises here!
Bird: I'm great at making noises! I will help you!
Bird: I am the best at sounds! Sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds sounds.
Me: ...
Bird: SOUNDS!

9:30 pm
Me: Bird, the internet says you need ten to twelve hours of sleep. Here's your towel. Beddy bye, bird.
Bird: aaaare you out there
Bird: caaaaan you hear me
Bird: I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE
Bird: I'm running around and kicking things! The bell goes ding! The bell never sleeps and NEITHER DO I!

10:30 pm:
Bird: ::DING DING DING::

11 pm:
Bird: ::DIIIIIIIING::

Midnight:
Me: ::ventures out for a glass of water::
Bird: ::DING::

3 am:
Bird: I SAW A SHADOW AND I'M FREAKING OUT! DING! FLAP FLAP FLAP YELL DING!
Me: THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE A NIGHTLIGHT
Bird: Oh good everyone's up now. Ding! Cheep cheep cheep ding!

8 am:
Me: Wakey wakey!
Bird: enhhhhhh

---
*The internet says you can get your bird a less-exciting sleep cage. The vet said don't do this, just tell the bird it's bedtime with good sleep hygiene. The bird does not listen to sleep hygiene. But then, I don't either.

Comments

[rydra_wong]

Is your parakeet related to Allie Brosh's dogs? *g*

[sapote]

He loves with equal ferociousness. He loves the swing and he loves the dingaling. He does not love me at all, but he enjoys biting me just to be clear about this and then climbing onto my hand and delicately taking treats with his beak.

I keep suspecting that he's not smart and then he'll do things like chomp on my fingers and then make direct eye contact to see if I'm reacting. He understands that I'm a person, I think!

[rydra_wong]

He understands that I'm a person, I think!

The research on bird intelligence is fascinating. I don't know how parakeets are thought to rank relative to the bigger parrots, but it's always interesting when you can watch a non-human mind at work.

[rydra_wong]

Also, permission to metaquotes?

[sapote]

Yes! :)

[rydra_wong]

... so I ended up quoting the whole thing:

https://metaquotes.dreamwidth.org/80206.html

[kore]

OMG, you and your bird both ignoring sleep hygiene is bloody priceless.

[sapote]

:D He does put himself down for naps. He loves a nap! It's going to BED that he hates. Right now he's got his head down under a wing and is singing a little burbling napping song to himself. ...In twelve hours he will NEVER HAVE BEEN AS AWAKE. PARTY TIME! TIME TO KNOCK THINGS OVER AND YELL!

[toft]

This is hilarious.

(Also HI HI I return to DW HI HOW ARE YOU)